.....is: time. i've always been fascinated in the proverbial Marching of Time. at times, in my life, i've been thank-full in knowing that Time Marches On: friday's into rest-full weekends......anticipating Times, looking forward to spending it with family or friends.....looking forward to going to church.....looking forward to seeing my family and/or friends i've not seen in a long Time.
right now, however, i am anxious. i realized this morning that Time is Marching On, and the events i was looking forward to are now coming and soon will be going: my mom has arrived for the Christmas holiday....my best friend will be here tomorrow and family is coming....Christmas with the birth of Jesus will come-Hallelujah. only to be "going" to: surgery.
and, so, is the inevitable passing of Time: surgery is coming. need to force myself into the reality that i'll be walking into a hospital; i'll be a "patient", though i will most likely not be patient :) (i feel sorry for my nurses). the inevitability of pain. the unknown that is still unknown, but will pass with the coming of Time. convalescing-how long??
i realize, though, there have and always will be beautiful things about the passing of Time. already i am learning that in the course of a day there are blessings, teachings, absorbing, love, hugs, understanding, and resolution: a friend that gives a soft comfy robe as a gift; a friend that gives a picture of Jesus standing behind the surgeon and guiding his hands; loving gifts unable to mention the magnitude of; friends, family; finding appreciation of the Gift that "this" is and being able to see beyond and trust God. "this" is a gift, of which one can never completely understand enough, most likely, unless you're "here", i assume.
so - my life is changing, and will continue to change. with the passing of Time, i have learned how to let other's love me; how to receive, rather than feel any obligation to give; how to make sense of something that can not be made sense of, and trust the journey and the people within it; the ability to see beyond....knowing there is more than "this"...which is bright, beautiful and encouraging as if receiving the very first Christmas Gift ever in my entire life. :)
i am forward looking. i am encouraged by all the brave kids in my family. and i have an Attitude of Gratitude...for the Gift i have been given and will yet to receive. here we go!